The taxpayer is now feeling the effects of universal suffrage and the
American vote; and Whereas; the fraudulent system which the politicians
have engendered cannot give the taxpayer his pro-rata of the spoils.
NOW THEREFORE, We Norton-1, Deo Gratias, do
hereby prohibit the Water Commissioners from signing the Spring Valley
Water bill under penalty of decapitation until a sounder system shall
have been adopted.
Given under our hand and seal.
The Public Officials having again notoriously betrayed the confidence
and trust imposed in them by a trusting people; and having shamefully
disregarded the public interest and the people's welfare to feather their
own nests; now, therefore, We, Norton-1, Emperor of America and Protector
of Mexico, do hereby order all such Officials to resign forthwith, and
do declare their said offices vacant from the date hereof.
WHEREAS, the Grand Hotel, hitherto our headquarters,
is in rebellion;
NOW, THEREFORE, we, Norton-1, do hereby command the Water
Companies to close down on them, and the Gas Company to give them no light,
so as to bring them to terms.