13 September 1870
PROCLAMATION
WHEREAS, one Phillipmagilder Alamagoozalum Whangdoodlum
Larryum Murrayum is engaged in plotting with conspirators to usurp our
prerogatives and is a traitor to our person and scepter; and WHEREAS,
all movements of such nature tend to weaken the stability of our government
at home, and cause it to fall into contempt and ridicule with foreign
Nations;
NOW, THEREFORE, we, Norton-1, Dei Gratia Emperor of the
United States and Protector of Mexico, hereby decree that said Phillipmagilder
Alamagoozalum Whangdoodlum Larryum Murrayum be appointed Chief of Police
to ex-Emperor Louis Napoleon Bonaparte, and that he forthwith leave our
realm to fill such an appointment.
September 13, 1870
Forged by Philip Magilder and Larry Murray
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
21 September 1870
WHEREAS, our friends and adherent are dissatisfied that
we are not better lodged, and hold that we ought to have a suitable palace
years ago;
WHEREAS, the treasonable proscriptive acts of some of
the hotel keepers of this city have kept us out of decent rooms for our
accomodations, so that we have been unable to make our family arrangements
in order. NOW,
THEREFORE, we do hereby command the proprietors of the
Grand Hotel to forthwith furnish us with rooms, under penalty of being
banished.
September 21st, 1870.
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